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Television, Television Recaps

True Blood 5.06 Recap: Hopeless

After weeks of waiting, we finally received the twist we’ve been waiting for. Russell is not a vampire to sit idly and let the werewolves tear everyone limb from limb. He saved the best for last. 

Picking up, Alcide was being dragged away by a wolf. Sookie tried to intervene, but it wasn’t happening. Through all the chaos of two vampires and a wolf fighting grown wolves, Russell corners Sookie. Her faerie powers only come in handy when she needs to blast someone across the room; sadly, it doesn’t have the same “Ooooh” affect it did when she blasted Pam clear across the room. Eric was ready to give Russell the true death, but Bill stopped him. I was neutral to the whole argument- killing Russell would leave them both sunk, but leaving the deed to Roman just seemed wrong.

In comes the Authority goons, led by Chancellor Kibwe. Instead of thanking them, Kibwe was disgusted by the fact a mere human and wolf helped them find Russell and demanded Bill and Eric to glamour Sookie and Alcide. Bill, of course, faked the glamouring, but Eric had way too much fun with his. If you had the ability to change history and make a rival completely disinterested in your ex outside of a protective basis, wouldn’t you? While Eric was having fun with his real glamouring, Bill took this time to say goodbye to Sookie. Too bad it was to encourage her having the normal life she “could’ve” had. Give me a break. She’s half-faerie and lives in Bon Temps. She was screwed from the beginning.

Instead of glamouring the humans left from Russell’s dungeon, Kibwe decided to kill them all on a cramped bus. I have a problem with them killing Dougie. He could identify the woman who started this mess, but apparently that wasn’t useful to the smooth-talking chancellor. Or he’s allied with this woman. (cough, Salome) No guilt to be had for the captive who wanted financial retribution, because…really?! You just were captured by a deranged vampire with the art of charming monologue. Just ask for a ride home, like Doug. Doug, we’ll miss you.

Bill was perfecting the art of the kiss-ass by praising Lilith. Eric was visibly annoyed; as far as he was concerned, Lilith could blow him. This scene explains why there are more Eric/Sookie fans than Bookie fans. Eric is a badass. In the meantime, Sookie and the confused Alcide were racing back to Bon Temps. By the next morning, Alcide was confused about waking up in Sookie’s bed, in horror to find out they might’ve hooked up, and recoiled from Sookie’s touch. Realizing what Eric did, Sookie jogged his memory. After a lot of swearing, he quickly left to confront the pack. I love how no one asked Sookie if she was okay more than once this season. She’s a seasoned pro of the weirdness now. Pros don’t whine. They just get ready for work.

Luna is alive! Luna and Sam are in the hospital being treated for their injuries. Little Emma did make it to her grandmother Martha’s house, so she’s safe. Luna was upset at the possibility of Emma being taken care of the woman that raised Marcus (understandable, but she did sleep with him), but as she was in a hospital bed….She had no choice. Sam set out to find the ones responsible for shooting them. He went to Andy to offer his services, but Andy had a problem condoning vigilante justice. No one needs to tell him about Sookie, ever. Sam was going to go after the shooters regardless, so Andy relented. Better to be with a supe than against him. He proves useful after saving Andy’s life from the vocal anti-supes weapons dealer named Junior. Before he died, the dealer was on the phone with someone. Hmm..

Tara and Jessica’s catfight was a bore. There was no hair pulling or bloodshed as Pam broke it up before it trashed Fangtasia. She was proud of Tara, but only in the way humans are proud of their well-trained dogs. I would have walked out right then if I was Tara, but that is how Pam shows her…affection.  Hoyt believes that Jessica cares for him on a deeper level, making him downright suicidal and stupid. He offers himself to any vampire that comes along. I’m sure that’s a STD waiting to happen. The vampire who took him up on his skanky offer was killed by Bon Temps local chapter of IWG (Idiots with Guns). The IWG knows Hoyt and thinks they saved him. Oh boy, wait til they hear about his past with Jessica. 

Lafayette’s mom is a riot. Ruby Dee looks dead when Lafayette comes to check up on her. “Oh mama,” he shakes his head. “What?” she says, making him jump. They have a nice conversation about how Jesus came to the both of them with his lips sewn shut and how he’s trapped in the afterlife with Don Bartolo, resident evil voodoo practitioner. This whole conversation would have been filler, but Ruby Dee keeps pronouncing Jesus as if he was the Christian’s son of God. “Jesus loves you, even if you are an abomination,” she says to him with a goodbye kiss. This is one of their greatest family moments. I might even shed a tear.

Alcide decided to go accuse the new packmaster JD of doing V. The whole pack is astonished, except for the feisty hot brunette who looked ready to go after JD in the beginning of the scene. JD tosses his leadership weight around to intimidate Alcide, which is laughable, as Alcide towers over JD. Alcide challenges him for the role of packmaster, with the hot brunette quickly volunteering to be his second. I can’t wait for this fight.

For once, Sookie was at work having a normal conversation with Arlene and Holly. Terry’s story lines used to have substance to them, but now I find myself bored. He does take a break from running from death to say goodbye to Arlene. He’s cursed and doesn’t want his curse to negatively impact Arlene and the kids. Awww. He’s too good for Arlene.  Then Jason had to come in Merlotte’s and accuse vampires of killing their folks. Jason and Terry are tied for being the mood killer this season. This was after his dream of his silent daddy staring at him on the couch. Creepy. Sookie asks Jason if he’s on V after he tells her his proof was a conversation between him and Hadley at a faerie nightclub. Eventually, she believed his tale and followed him to the nightclub. I’m surprised Sam hasn’t fired her yet or that her light bill hasn’t turned off. Or does Eric still pay for those expenses?

Claude’s actor is a bit of a disappointment. I thought he was supposed to be extremely good-looking and vain. He confirms Sookie and Jason’s fears- their parents did die at the hand of a vampire. The kicker: Sookie was what lured the vampire to them. Between the faerie clan, the vampires, and the werewolves, Sookie had the understandable beginnings to a mental breakdown. The truth surrounding her parent’s deaths seem like the last straw for her.

The Authority decided to throw a modest party in light of the boys’ success. The iStakes are finally removed! Yay for that! Bill is still laying it on thick, but Eric wants news of Nora. Nora is revealed to have admitted to be a Sanguinista by Salome, who is on her way to interrogate Russell. Roman comes in before she leaves, wearing a Nike shirt. Um…where is his suit? Out to dry cleaning? I don’t like it. 

Roman is happy about the boy’s success, as he now believes that they are now with him. These two self-serving vampires are with you. For now. Bill acts gung-ho enough to pacify Roman, but Eric remains honest as ever. Eric refuses to drink the Koo-laid, and Roman looks ready to kill him alongside Russell. Good thing Roman took it as Eric being “too cool for school”. Or he was telling you the truth. Whatever keeps him alive. Roman tells Salome not to bother interrogating Russell; he will die that very night. Rosalyn and Dieter were very happy about that. Vultures. Russell may be an absolute loon, but he provides more entertainment than half the people in the room. That should warrant something. Eric asks Roman to see Nora, but in doing so, revealed that was his sister. Roman agreed, as long as Eric was back in time for the execution.

Nora has gone crazy in the jail cell, as she keeps regurgitating the Bible of Lilith in a feverish manner. “She had been right all along.” Eric is concerned for his sister and asks what we’re all thinking. Who is she?! Lilith or Salome? Nora claims she didn’t free Russell, but my money is still on Salome. 

In the chancellor’s conference room, Russell is on his knees as Roman readies him for execution. “In the name of the father and of the mother,” Roman drones. “In the name of my ass!” Russell shouts. Seriously, you want to execute him? Russell isn’t for either faction, as the Sanguinistas use Lilith to justify their bloodlust and the Authority uses her for power. Russell just loves it. “It makes my dick hard,” he sneers. Roman pats him on the head before activating the iStake. Only it’s not working. Problem!

“Peace is for pussies!” Russell snarls before staking Roman. Eric zooms into the room, but it is too late. Roman is now truly dead. Salome is crying, but she’s a deceitful one. The last scene we see is Nora looking up to the heavens, breathing out “Praise, Lilith.” 

I am so upset at Roman’s death, but True Blood has taught us that everyone is expendable. Next on True Blood: Eric and Bill are in a jail cell, pissed off. Eric seems to have jumped on the “Nora is a traitor” bandwagon. The faeries inform Sookie she will lose her faerie powers if she’s not careful about her usage of it. Like Green Lantern, only less cooler. Tara’s mother finds out she’s a vampire. And Russell is back to doing what he does best- terrifying and killing innocent bystanders. 





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