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Television, Television Recaps

True Blood 5.07 Recap: In the Beginning

True Blood sure loves the drama this season. It’s completely dark as the Chancellor’s guards try to apprehend Russell, while Bill keeps screaming for Eric. Those two care for each other. Aw. The show wouldn’t be what it was if they had a bromance. Nora and Salome are praying to Lilith feverishly, but Nora is burning due to the UV rays. She has determination that one. The lights come on, and Eric is posted on the marble columns. Phew, at least he’s okay.

Sookie and Jason are still with the faeries. Claude is healing her and has to deal with Jason’s ramblings about needing everything explained in “laid man’s” terms. I love Jason Stackhouse. Claude warns them about Sookie’s power supply. Sookie doesn’t take the warning in the intended way but is happy about the possibility of being normal. If your powers attracted the likes of Eric and Bill, would you complain? Sure, the cons are that you have to deal with crazies like Russell, but be grateful. You could have ended up with Tara’s human life. When they go home, Jason and Sookie have a heartfelt moment. I love the moments where Jason acts like the older sibling he is.

Andy is being questioned by his less than competent deputy as the coroner comes for Junior’s body. Andy is certain this is the worst night of his life. How quickly we forget about his Internet debut and the maenad..Sam finds the Obama masks used by the supe hunters. I find it ironic that they use Obama masks to carry on with their agenda for intolerance. Good going, True Blood writers. Andy drops by the former Sheriff Dearborne’s place looking for guidance but received tough love perfected by country fathers everywhere. It was basically, “Get out, my mistress is here.” Sam visits Sookie and laments about his lack of normalcy. “In the end, we are what we are,” he shrugs. Sookie isn’t convinced.

Hoyt’s violin solo is exactly what the supe hunters want to hear. Hoyt is unsure when he lost his dignity, and his buddies quickly point the blame to vampires. It is called self-worth gentlemen. Look it up. “I feel more love and acceptance in this hate group than I did at church or basketball or anything for that matter,” Hoyt states. That’s sad. I know his mother did a number on him, but jeez. I love that the group thinks Hoyt was date raped by Jessica. They have obviously not seen her. This hate group is quite hilarious, but insane. “We’re here to hate her[Jessica] with ya.” Don’t drink the koolaid, Hoyt.

Eric and Bill are in a dark hallway and finally caught up with the rest of us- Salome and Nora are scheming liars. The women attempt polite conversation, but Eric is pissed. Russell tries to extend an olive branch, but given the bloody history, he was holding his breath. Eric isn’t one to cross, and Nora did that in spades. Salome finally admits that she dug Russell up to do her dirty work. These two are something else. They screw their victims before they stab them in the back. Salome expresses regret, but Bill quickly shuts her down. “You can’t play the grieving widow and the leader of the coup at the same time.” I miss Roman. The dreadful trio is already on shaky ground in regards with this new regime.

Elsewhere, Alcide and hot were brunette are training for their upcoming fight with JD. There’s plenty of sexual tension. Alcide seems like he can’t handle this one, and I approve. Alcide states that she needs to be ready to lose, as JD is already cheating with vampire blood. Will there be a referee for this fight to the death? Because I know this girl will cheat. She doesn’t take dying lightly. Martha interrupts the almost-make out in the dry, amazing way she can. She takes up for JD, since he was oh-so-loyal to Marcus. Emma seems happy with her cute-wolf persona, but I hate this conversation in front of her.

Arlene is tearfully watching her wedding video. Jason and Lafayette’s were the best by far. She obviously misses Terry. She was so in love with him, they invited Jessica! That is progress! Arlene spits out the entire story to Holly, but she gets no party to her crazy Terry theory. Holly is a witch and if anyone knows about a curse, it’s this one. Terry is waiting in the forest for the ifrit to come after him. It did appear, but it laughingly left them alone. Tired of being messed with, Terry decides to end it on his terms. Since he’s a primary character, he ends up being saved before he commits suicide.

Tara is unleashing her inner stripper on the pole! Is it me or did Pam seem interested? No time for that, as Tara’s mother walks in wearing her full church ensemble. Complete with gloves! Of course, Lettie Mae is upset about Tara being a vampire. Unlike regular mothers, who just want to make sure their kid is okay and not stripping for a living, Lettie Mae is worried about her status as a minister’s wife. Seriously? Lettie Mae tells Tara that she is dead to her from this day on, but Tara decides to play on her fear. I love how Pam is proud of her progeny. She comes off like she doesn’t care, but Tara is perfect for her. Tara later retreats to the office, and Pam actually gives her a compliment. Excuse me while I die from shock. Pam assures Tara that she won’t even remember Lettie Mae 100 years from now. Tara hugs her, and instead of freaking out, Pam lets her!

Salome declares that Roman turned his back on Lilith’s teachings and publicly forgives Russell Edgington. Russell is going to kill her by the end of this season. You can just tell by the way he toys with her. Russell states that he “loves” Lilith, which is comical. Russell shares an art for self-preservation similar to Eric’s. Eric, Bill, and Dieter can’t seem to swallow his latest craftsmanship. Nora states that they will all drink from Lilith’s blood, which Dieter quickly states is blasphemy. Can you blame him for not wanting to drink 10,000 year old blood? Well, that quickly earns him a decapitation from Russell. Everyone’s on board now. Bill is still cautious, but Eric reassures him that it has no effect.

Yeah, right. They are all walking the streets like a cool rock band. Rosalyn is feeling herself, Nora and Eric keep giggling, and Bill starts to terrorize a cab driver. If you didn’t see Eric giving Bill a piggie back ride, you must watch this show again.

Lafayette is still dealing with Jesus’ sadistic grandfather’s spirit. Don Bartolo is quick to kill him to take back the family’s magic, but his pregnant wife kills him. Can I just say while I appreciated Jesus, his family is sacks full of insane? Hoyt joins the hate group on their next run, but you can tell trouble is coming. It’s in the air. Meanwhile, Sam finds one of the crew in the hospital and proceeds to beat him. FYI: Telling a vengeful person that his friends deserved their deaths will not result in a working eye.

JD addresses the were pack, stating his vampire friend warned him about the end of days fast approaching. There will be a war between vampires and humans. Werewolves are being drafted to join. JD offers V to little Emma, but before she can take it, Martha catches them all. Martha is ready to kill JD, but settles for taking Emma out of that situation. He got off easy. If Luna finds out, he’s gonna have a mama wolf and a mama shifter on his hands.

The next stop on the tripping vampire’s list is a karaoke bar. Thank you Russell for interrupting when you did- that woman was hurting my eardrums. It’s a full on slaughterhouse for all- everyone picks a human. While the vampires embrace their newfound freedom, Sookie just feels constricted by her fae powers. She starts to get rid of them. Jason talks to Jessica about his parents; she tries to convince him they they are all not the same. When your daddy shows up on television, let’s see your tune then. Jason tastes blood on Jessica’s lips and proceeds to act like a boyfriend you see on those ghetto drama productions. Come out the closet, buddy! They decide to argue and Jessica wins this round thanks to her daddy’s guard.

Meanwhile, the vampires hallucinate Lilith’s presence. Eric is the only one who gets a wake-up call, thanks to Godric’s soul popping in for a hello. He implores Eric to save him sister. Snapping out of his haze, Eric sees that Nora is looking at nothing. They are all following a belief in nothing.

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